Polla and Me: An Imaginary Friend

Following my post a couple of days ago about DorkySon’s relationship with Binky, I got into a conversation online with another Mum, whose daughter had a similar relationship with her imaginary friend Polla. The mum, Lisa Farrell, very kindly agreed to do a guest post on Polla, which is below. Lisa doesn’t have a blog (although perhaps she should…!) but you can follow her on Twitter here.

I have two children. A boy and a girl. Ten and four. I am very happy with my lot. However, for the last six months it has become apparent that there is another child living in my house. My four year old has an imaginary friend called Polla.

Polla appeared about six months ago. My then 3 year old was playing, chattering away as usual and when I tried to play too she looked exasperated, huffed and told me she wasn’t talking to me she was talking to Polla.

“Who’s Polla?” I asked.

“She’s my best friend,” replied my daughter.

“Where is she?” I went on. Again, a real ‘madam’ huff.

“She’s here!” exclaimed my little girl, pointing to empty space. The game continued without me!

Polla soon became a regular in our house. Places were laid for her at the table, spaces were made for her on the sofa, an extra bowl of treats was put out for her AND they disappeared (this, I feel, was a stroke of genius on my 3 year old’s part!) Luce would chat to her reflection in the window and it would be Polla replying. And inevitably, anything that was broken, knocked over or damaged was Polla’s fault. She was a very clumsy girl!

All of this freaked me out a little, I must admit. I had never had an imaginary friend as a child, my older child had never had one and, as far as I know, none of my friends’ children have them. However, I know people do have imaginary friends and so I took a deep breath and accepted it as one of the stages in my daughter’s development. We chatted about Polla; apparently she is VERY pretty but quite naughty and she always wears beautiful dresses. She likes to play hide and seek and princesses. And Lucy certainly seemed very fond of her.

Recently though, there has been a distinct absence of Polla. Lucy has stopped talking about her and seems very content with this. Looking back, I wonder if Polla was a way for Lucy to cope with getting older, being the ‘big girl’ she is obsessed with being and, now that she is more comfortable with the fact that she’s no longer a toddler, she no longer needs Polla for company.

I have asked her about Polla a few times recently and Lucy usually laughs and tells me she’s not here. The latest thing she said was that Polla was “in the dustbin”. I must admit I felt a little sad. No Polla means my baby is becoming a strong-willed girl; a beautiful, fiercely independent, strong-willed girl who will need me less as the years pass. This does make me sad; but also happy, proud and blessed.

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10 responses

  1. Lovely post! They grow up so quickly! Here we have no imaginary friend, only a pirate coming to eat with us every now and again. Unfortunately he’s so scary my Son is never able to sleep after he has spent some time with him….

  2. Superb post. My eldest daughter had a pretend brother called Charlie. But her real flesh and blood sister put an end to that one when she made an appearance.

    Gotta take my hat off to her for pulling the treats trick. Definitely a crafty move.

  3. Bless her! So amazing the imagination that is in them…we take care of their needs and wants on a physical level but they’ve got it all going on up there in their heads without a single prompt from us. Hopefully Polla served her purpose and if nothing else has proved that she can share and play well with others – school will be a doddle. I also totally agree – you need to blog! x

  4. I never thought of it like that! I have to confess it would have freaked me out completely. Sounds like you handled it very well.

  5. Oh I loved this wee story! I had an imaginary friend called Meehan when I was five. I must have got the name from my dad’s friend’s surname. She could fly and I would always have dreams about trying to fly with her, and wake up frustrated. Later mum translated that ‘Meehan’ was actually ‘me’ trying to figure out independence as I started school…

  6. Pingback: Guest Post: Pregnancy and Parenting as an Older Mum | dorkymum

  7. Pingback: Jake « dorkymum

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