Following my post a couple of days ago about DorkySon’s relationship with Binky, I got into a conversation online with another Mum, whose daughter had a similar relationship with her imaginary friend Polla. The mum, Lisa Farrell, very kindly agreed to do a guest post on Polla, which is below. Lisa doesn’t have a blog (although perhaps she should…!) but you can follow her on Twitter here.
I have two children. A boy and a girl. Ten and four. I am very happy with my lot. However, for the last six months it has become apparent that there is another child living in my house. My four year old has an imaginary friend called Polla.
Polla appeared about six months ago. My then 3 year old was playing, chattering away as usual and when I tried to play too she looked exasperated, huffed and told me she wasn’t talking to me she was talking to Polla.
“Who’s Polla?” I asked.
“She’s my best friend,” replied my daughter.
“Where is she?” I went on. Again, a real ‘madam’ huff.
“She’s here!” exclaimed my little girl, pointing to empty space. The game continued without me!
Polla soon became a regular in our house. Places were laid for her at the table, spaces were made for her on the sofa, an extra bowl of treats was put out for her AND they disappeared (this, I feel, was a stroke of genius on my 3 year old’s part!) Luce would chat to her reflection in the window and it would be Polla replying. And inevitably, anything that was broken, knocked over or damaged was Polla’s fault. She was a very clumsy girl!
All of this freaked me out a little, I must admit. I had never had an imaginary friend as a child, my older child had never had one and, as far as I know, none of my friends’ children have them. However, I know people do have imaginary friends and so I took a deep breath and accepted it as one of the stages in my daughter’s development. We chatted about Polla; apparently she is VERY pretty but quite naughty and she always wears beautiful dresses. She likes to play hide and seek and princesses. And Lucy certainly seemed very fond of her.
Recently though, there has been a distinct absence of Polla. Lucy has stopped talking about her and seems very content with this. Looking back, I wonder if Polla was a way for Lucy to cope with getting older, being the ‘big girl’ she is obsessed with being and, now that she is more comfortable with the fact that she’s no longer a toddler, she no longer needs Polla for company.
I have asked her about Polla a few times recently and Lucy usually laughs and tells me she’s not here. The latest thing she said was that Polla was “in the dustbin”. I must admit I felt a little sad. No Polla means my baby is becoming a strong-willed girl; a beautiful, fiercely independent, strong-willed girl who will need me less as the years pass. This does make me sad; but also happy, proud and blessed.