Question Time

DorkySon was just lying on the sofa, playing a game on the iPad, while I tidied around him.

Mummy,” he said. “Dying doesn’t mean that you go away and never come back, does it?

I froze.

I don’t want that to happen to us,” he said. “But it’s more like a rainbow isn’t it, that you go away but then you come back again.

It was one of those conversations that I knew I should have been better prepared for. I knew it would come up at some point, although there is no obvious reason why it has happened now. We fumbled our way through a ten-minute conversation, in which I tried to find the balance between reassurance and honesty, and attempted a few analogies drawing on what he already knows about nature.

I explained that different people believe different things – some people think we become angels, or stars, or come back to life in another form, or go to a place called heaven – and that we all have to make our own minds up about that.

Well Grandpa believes in heaven,” he said. “So maybe he knows a bit more about it than you do, and I’ll talk to him.

We left it there, although I know it will come up again soon.

That was yesterday.

Today, we were doing something similar. I was bustling around doing laundry and dishes, while DorkySon played in the den.

Mummy,” he said, in that same inquisitive tone of voice.

Oh my, I thought to myself. Here we go again…

If you decide to grow a baby in your tummy, how does it actually get there?”

This time I was much better prepared.

It’s pretty simple,” I said. “You can ask Daddy about that when he gets home.

27 responses

  1. There’s a lovely book called Always and forever ( Alan Durant ) that deals sensitively with the subject. I bought it for my 4 y o when there was a bereavement in the family. It seemed to answer my little one’s questions .

  2. Hahahaha, good answer! If I am stumped by a question I ask them what they think first, gives you time t think, and their answers give you a starting point!!

  3. Well handled!

    We’ve had many questions about dying recently, a couple which have completely floored me. I know there’s worse ones to come though x

    • Ooft I know, it’s tough isn’t it? Hard to be honest, but you have to be, I think. T had decided by Sunday morning that we get to choose if we become an angel or a knight in shining armour after we die🙂 x

  4. You handled both scenarios so well – I laughed so much at the last one, Dorky Dad has an interesting conversation ahead of him. As for death – that’s a really difficult one – you want to be honest but you don’t want to scare at the same time. Good job Grandad knows more about heaven than you do. I think death is one of those topics that keep coming back with a greater understanding for them each time. Love that Dorky Son compared death to a rainbow – how poetic is that!? XXX

    • I think that’s a very good point – it’s not a one-off conversation is it? Something that I imagine we’ll return to again and again x

  5. Brilliant! And what did DorkyDad say? BTW, there is an amazing book for children called Badger’s Parting Gifts that helps children hold onto all the gifts they received during a lifetime… So that they know their loved one is always with them no matter what. Not a great explanation – but worth checking out.

  6. Pingback: Cheerio 2013! « dorkymum

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