20 Signs that you’re Getting Old

old tree trunk - dendrochronology

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you’ll know that I turned thirty earlier this year. I wasn’t too worried about it at the time, but in the months since I’ve noticed some odd things happening that definitely weren’t part of twenties-life. I think *whisper it* I might be starting to get a bit old.

In an attempt to reassure myself that I’m not the only one (that means you have to leave lots of comments agreeing with me, please) I thought I’d compile a list. So here it is. 20 signs that you’re getting old.

1. You get excited when you receive a dispatch email from Amazon, saying that your plastic storage boxes are on their way.

2. You buy three pairs of Birkenstocks in different colours, just in case they stop producing that style.

3. You poke your head into a bar, but decide not to bother because the music’s too loud and there’s nowhere to sit.

4. You quietly tut to yourself when the kids at the back of the bus are being a bit loud and sweary.

5. 10.30pm counts as a late night. 11pm is something you’ll regret for days.

6. You keep last year’s Christmas cards to turn into next year’s gift tags. And when November rolls around you can actually remember which drawer they’re in.

7. You buy multipacks of sun cream, tissues and wet wipes, and pop them into Ziploc bags so you can keep a set in every handbag.

8. You take biscuits when you pop round to visit friends.

9. You use the verb ‘pop’.

10. You seriously consider buying a hot pink cord to hang your sunglasses around your neck.

11. You hope that Santa brings you slippers and a new bathrobe. Or maybe a steam mop.

12. You get grumpy when people just send a text message instead of a handwritten thank you note for gifts.

13. When you look through the camera roll on your smartphone, you often find blurry photos of your feet that you’ve taken accidentally while trying to answer a call.

14. There’s no longer any difference between your ‘big pants’ and all your other pants.

15. You’d rather drink no wine than cheap wine.

16. You have a preferred canvas bag for taking grocery shopping, and it can ruin your day to go to the drawer and discover that someone else is using it.

17. You smuggle your own snacks into the cinema to avoid paying overinflated popcorn prices.

18. You have a ringtone that actually sounds like a telephone ringing.

19. You mentally correct the spelling and grammar of graffiti artists.

20. You have dedicated hand moisturiser, which comes in pastel coloured packaging and has a light, floral scent.

21… Over to you. What have I missed?

38 responses

  1. You did say 60, not 30?
    How about, when you bend down, you think ‘what else can I do whilst down here’?
    You go upstairs, get there, then wonder why you came upstairs?
    You think must take that down with me, whilst cleaning your teeth and forget by the time you’ve finished.
    I’m sure the list goes on, but I’ve forgotten why I’m writing.

    Contra.
    A friend took up running at 50. Aged 80 he has 100 marathons under his belt and was given number 80 for our local half marathon this year?

    Half full… half empty?

  2. I nodded in agreement to 1, 3, 4 and 5.

    My signs are that it is generally too hot to go for a swim (even though you have your own pool) and when you do swim, you do a form of breast stroke so you don’t get your hair and ears wet.

    And you begin to like prunes as a snack.

    If you say no to either of these, dorky, you are still too young. Wait another 10 years and come back. You’ll agree to those two.

  3. Oh dear – so many of these ring true! Particularly the cinema snacks and the coveting of the steam mop! Thank you for reminding me I’m getting old!😉

  4. Ha ha I really am very old having read this – I’d add – you place little lavendar scented parcels in your underwear drawer.

    I’ve taken it to the next level now haven’t I ?

  5. I’m not 30 til next year, but I just agreed with almost every single one! I also tend to listen to Radio 2 now (or Radio 4 in the evenings) because everything on Radio 1 “just sounds like noise”.

  6. Oh I recognise several of these- tho I am 40! I now only listen to Radio 4, complain at adverts for ‘youth tv’ that they are too excitable, and definitely don’t understand my 17 year olds taste in music or clothes! Very funny post! x

  7. No worries for me Ruth, I’ve been old for the last 20 years going by the list especially on the noisy bar wih no seats front🙂

  8. You are such a young pup! Let me know when you’re old enough to add these:

    You realise some of your friends are young enough you could have given birth to them.

    A great evening is warm socks, a good book, and a glass of wine.

    You look at most of the clothes in the shops and remember when you wore that – in a different decade.

    You avoid the CBD during school holidays to avoid the riff raff.

    I could go on and on!

    • Even worse than being friends with people you could be the parent of, people you went to school with have kids who just turned 18, and your child has just started primary school (or in my husband’s case, a classmate is now a grandparent)

  9. I’m 63 and I’m well on the way with this list! My children are still in their 20s but I find myself tutting at some of their ideas! I only became a mum when I was 37 so I enjoy just sitting and watching my daughter and her two little boys….that’s one of the great JOYS of being older…being able to sit back and watch younger mothers and trying to help if asked!! Keep up the good work you YOUNG WOMEN!!!! You’re a breath of fresh air:)

  10. I’ve been doing lots of these for years. (I’m 35.) And the joy is that I think many can be summed up as, “I just don’t care what other people think any more, or what’s apparently cool, or what I ‘ought’ to be spending my time doing as a young person”. This list sounds like liberation to me!

  11. This is an excellent (and very familiar) list. I’ll add a Hobartian theme: You’re enjoying your night out in Salamanca (dinner with friends natch) then look at the people going into O Bar and vow never to go there again. And then hurry home to bed.

    I can’t go with you on 15. Any wine is better than no wine.

  12. Ha ha ha…. well I’m super dooper ancient though. But here are the things I stopped doing in my thirties. Clubbing. Late nights. Definitely smuggling sweets into the cinema. And boy, could I do with some new comfy pyjamas and bed socks – tis the time of year now. There’s nothing I love more than snuggling under the duvet with a good read. X

  13. Brilliant post and I’m guilty of all of them and all of the others added in the comments too but it won’t be long until I celebrate 50!!! Now that is scary🙂

  14. You have made it official – I am old. At uni today a “young girl” helped me sort out a “technical difficulty” – I think she felt sorry for me because of my age. Last week in a meeting someone I just met asked if I worked at the same place she did….. in 1982 – I was born in 1980!!!! I didn’t tell her that.

  15. Heehee, I’ve been doing the cinema snacks thing since I was 12! (our local cinema is next to a GIANT Tesco’s though…).

    Oh, and I was told that the sign of being old is: having wine in your house, without it immediately being drunk.
    In which case, I am definitely old.

    PS. I love my steam mop!

  16. I must be aging very slowly (big smile on the non-wrinkled face). I’m 53 and the only one I can tick is number 20. I have a really nice lavender hand cream in my bag🙂 I’ll cope with most of the list if they happen but I so hope I NEVER wear comfortable shoes …unless they have a lot of bling attached of course lol

  17. Pingback: 20 Signs that you’re Getting OldLove All Blogs

  18. oh dear, I’m only 34 and I’d say 15 out of your 20 are part of my every day life… along the same basis as your wine comment (which I wholeheartedly agree with btw) I’d add going without coffee unless it’s proper freshly brewed espresso… #MBPW

  19. I nodded to 11 of the 20. I just turned 50. I would like to add: You ask your younger friends what is good on the menu because (1) your arms are too short to read the menu; and (2) you really dislike taking out the bifocals.

  20. I was nodding along to most of them. I agree with one comment about looking at clothes in Top Shop and saying to my daughter ” I had one just like that in 1984″ (when I was 16). Happens nearly all of the time in Urban Outfitters lately.

    But you are a “young pup” at 30. I’m 45 . I had a major crisis at turning 30. I don’t think it was so much to do with the age or the number, but more the stage of life. I still felt young and looked young but I had been married 7 years and had a huge mortgage, and over draft and 2 children.

    “much too much,much too young”

    xxxxxxxxxxx

  21. Pingback: Cheerio 2013! « dorkymum

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